Raising children in Emirati society..

I know that many people are going to respond to this by saying that I have no right to criticize Emiratis- that we've had enough of bad press from the likes of A.A.Gill and others and that I shouldn't be further exacerbating the negative perception of Emiratis. But certain things need to be addressed. A.A. Gill was extremely racist, narrow-minded, and prejudiced in much of his article calling Emiratis "born retired" and "fat". How that represents journalism (which is by default assumed to be non-biased and somewhat credible) beats me. But what I'm writing about today is the bringing up of children in Emirati society. My article in no way aims to portray that all Emirati children are the way the following write up makes them out to be. There are obviously many exceptions, but unfortunately the vast majority of the Emirati children that I have encountered 

are sadly not up to par with their Asian, European, or American counterparts.

In what way do I mean "up to par" you may ask. Well, up to par in general levels of awareness and 

intelligence. Emirati children are born just as intelligent as children in all other parts of the world, but for some reason, that intelligence is not tapped and that potential is not cultivated. Many Emirati children are primarily raised by maids, or nannies as the more respectful term is. The average Emirati household depends heavily on maids to carry out the tasks of cooking, cleaning the house, and raising the children.

Now I am not saying that hiring maids is wrong, in fact it's beneficial since it provides employment to people. Apart from that, it lessens a lot of the burden on the female residents of a household (which typically are the ones who take up most of the housework). The point at which having a maid becomes wrong is when the maid is left to raise the children. And by raise the children I mean wake them up in the morning, drop them to school and pick them up, feed them their meals, help them with homework, take them out on play dates, and bathe them and put them to bed. Thousands if not millions of people all over the world manage to raise their children without extra help from maids or nannies and end up doing just fine. 

What is it in the Emirati parent (or more specifically mother) which renders them unable to provide full-time, hands-on care for their children? I might be able to understand the situation is the woman is a working mother but a significant proportion of these women do not work. What is the excuse? And, why have these children if you're not willing to take care of them yourself?

The entire fault does not rest with the women. Part of the blame also lies with the fathers who must understand what being a father means in all its spheres. Childcare needs to be equally split between the father and the mother and although unfortunately this balance is far from being achieved is almost every part of the world, the balance seems to be more present in societies of the West.

This somewhat lax approach that many Emirati families take when it comes to raising their children has a severe impact on those children. Through simple interaction with non-Emirati (or non-GCC) families and Emirati ones, I have observed that Emirati children are not able to speak full sentences and do not have as extensive a vocabulary as other counterparts. Three or four year old non Emirati children tend to be able to hold a highly sophisticated conversation for their age and use a large number of words compared to Emirati children who at the ages of three and four I have noticed cannot hold up a complex conversation. (By complex conversation, I mean one that does not have to do with the present situation, i.e. playing, bathing, eating, and going to sleep).  I have tried to ask many 3-5 year old Emirati children on their opinions of cartoons, fairies, and sports game but have not managed to get much out of them apart from a giggle, a couple of words, or the occasional nod. Emirati children are just as intelligent as non-Emirati children and I find it heartbreaking to see that their potential is not being reached.

What are the reasons for this apparent inability of Emirati children to hold complete conversations? I believe that it is because those parents do not aim to talk to their children about things other than the necessary. I have very rarely heard an Emirati father or mother tell their child about general knowledge or explain to them how things work. As I walk around Dubai, I very rarely see an Emirati parent engaged in an active discussion with his or her toddler.

I am in London right now and what sparked me to write this was observing English children from the ages of three to seven ask detailed questions about wherever they were. They ask questions on the way the Tube system works and they ask complex questions about the purpose of their visit to a particular location (and often insert their own highly entertaining theories about whatever it is they're wondering about).

I recently had a few experiences with Western children that led me to question why Emirati children are not the same. I was sitting in a quiet café and at the table next to mine was an English family with two sons and a daughter. The eldest son must have been about 11, the younger one 8 and the daughter around 7. The second son wanted to go to the bathroom and the eldest son took him there- twice. I have not witnessed that in Emirati families- inevitably there seems to be a maid around to do that. And the seven year old daughter was perusing the map of London pointing out various museums and landmarks she wanted to visit and why. That same day, I made it a point to observe Emirati (and general GCC) children- obviously I found all the Emirati families on Sloane Street, or in Harrods or Selfridges.  The children were walking around with nannies or if they were with their own parents they were quiet, unspeaking, and generally aloof.

The second experience I had was on the Tube where there was an American family with two young sons from the ages of around six to eight. The parents were educating their children on the Tube system and the children were asking questions on how to understand the map. After a couple of minutes, the older child had completely grasped the Tube map and was accurately calculating stops and various lines.

Why have I not seen many Emirati children do similar things? Why have I not seen many Emirati children look forward to learning, visiting museums, asking questions? What is it about Emirati parents which render them incapable of themselves providing all the care their children require? I highly doubt that Emirati children are any less intelligent than children elsewhere in the world and I highly doubt that there is something inherent in Emirati parents which make them so reliant on nannies. If you are going to have children, you must make the mental commitment to give them your all- and be the ones to primarily raise them. And yes, raising children does include the little things such as changing their nappies. 

Why can't the average Emirati mother wake up at 6.30AM to take her children to school? Why can't most Emirati children have a fixed bedtime? Why must they stay up till 10PM or 11PM only to have to be at school the next day by 8AM? 

I would like to reiterate that this write-up is not in any way aimed to malign Emirati society, nor is it meant to generalize that all Emirati families are this way. And finally and most importantly, it is not intended to be sensationalist and to bring a negative image on the Emirati culture. It is, first and foremost, written for Emiratis to reconsider the way that children are generally raised in our society.

A change must be made in order to guarantee the progress of our children in all spheres of life. Their intelligence and their potential must be tapped, for in doing so will we work towards achieving a successful and strong future generation.

Motcomb Street

Recently I discovered a wonderful little street called Motcomb Street. It's in Knightsbridge in London, just off Cadogan Place and Lowndes Square. On the 6th of July, they're having a traditional British street party which should be amazing! There will be little food stalls and lots of entertainment. I can imagine how good the food stalls are going be based on the fact that the entire street is dotted with little eateries and food shops. Today, I strolled along the length of the street and took photographs of the interesting foods there.

First up is Patisserie Valerie, a wonderful little cafe with branches all over London (and England if I'm not mistaken.. and the world, since I think there's one in Dubai..) but thank God they're not as commercialized and mainstream like Starbucks (which is also on Motcomb Street by the way- but I won't go into reviewing since we all know what Starbucks offers). They have a wonderful nata, or Portuguese custard tart, and the chocolate mousse and hot chocolate are exceptionally good as well.

Next is Ottolenghi. I'm struggling what to call it- it's not exactly a deli- I find it too fancy for that, but it isn't a cafe either since you can't really sit and eat there. Anyways, it's a lovely bright and airy strip of a shop with only the most delicious looking desserts and huge bowls of salads etc.... There's also a wonderfully pre-packed selection of biscuits, cheese straws, cordials, and jams. Last week, I tried a vanilla and blueberry cupcake. The frosting was not heavy and sugary like normal frosting but instead was airy and light- I think it was whipped cream with none other than fresh vanilla seeds. Oh, I love seeing that vanilla seeds have been used in a dessert! Today, I tried a chocolate and hazelnut fudge brownie which I kept in the fridge for a few hours before eating. EPIC.

After that is Rococo Chocolates which is an amazingly creative and quirky chocolate store. I absolutely love the flavours there. Wafers come in flavours like ginger, lime and passionfruit, lavender, basil and Persian lime. The chocolate bars (wonderfully arranged in a lovely round patterm in bright colors) come in equally exotic flavours like Arabic spice, orange, chili pepper, and organic dark. There were even praline and chocolate quail eggs (they looked like quail eggs thank God). They also have a few icecream flavours such as salted caramel which I did not try but can only imagine to be absolutely gastronomically satisfying. 

Right near the end on the left is the Pantechnicon Rooms. Wonderful name, isn't it? Apparently the building in which it's housed in used to be where high society would bring their antiques.. The dining rooms are bright and airy and are wonderfully done up in wood tones and shades of green. And there's a bit of brass there as well, if I'm not mistaken. They have Sunday roasts and most of the menu is non-veg (I'm trying my very very best to go veg and have managed around two weeks if you don't count that little burger in the middle...) but I had a lovely artichoke, broad bean, roast potato, and broccoli salad with a dressing I think was the best I ever had. I also had lovely fresh strawberries with vanilla (seeds!) whipped cream and a lovely cool sugar syrup at the bottom.

There's also a Waitrose on Motcomb Street from where I bought some ingredients and whipped up a mushroom, leek, lemon, basil, and pine nut risotto.

Just off Motcomb Street is Halkin Arcade which is host to Zafferano- a lovely Italian restaurant, Amaya- an equally chic Indian restaurant, and the Terrace which is al fresco dining part of the Jumeirah Lowndes Hotel. The Jumeirah Lowndes Hotel also has Mimosa Restaurant and Bar which is where I got the inspiration for the risotto I made today. 

Hummus starter @ The Terrace

Vanilla Creme Brulee

Mushroom risotto @ Mimosa

Fregate Island- Seychelles

Somehow this is one of my favourite places on Earth. And I say somehow because I've never actually been there. I don't know how I came across it. I think I was browsing through Google Images' results for "island". Or I may have come across it in a magazine or something. But why I like it is because as soon as I saw the pictures, they immediately matched with my mental image of an island retreat. 


You see, when I imagined an island villa, I imagined an elevated platform in the bedroom for the bed, with light wooden flooring, and a four poster bed with white net curtains. The bed is at a 45-degree angle from the window/balcony which opens up onto an azure sea.


And the first picture I saw of Fregate was just that. 


I'm always running around from one place to the next, rushing through most of my day that my ideal retreat is a deserted island. I want to wake up when the sun rises and sleep when it sets. I want to sit around doing absolutely nothing apart from swimming and fishing. And maybe reading or watching a movie. And yes, I don't want to cook. Well, not too much. I want to be brought gourmet meals on a well-set table and I want to eat on the beach with candles lit up and the waves gently lapping at my feet. 


Well, actually don't we all want something like that?


So let me share with you Fregate Island. OK, I don't really know how it's pronounced... I say fre-ga-tay.. maybe it's free-gayt. Anyways fre-ga-tay sounds a lot better. 


Here's the website, just look at those pictures http://www.fregate.com/en/home/. According to Wikipedia, it's only 2.19 square kilometers.

Rockefeller Center- NYC

I'd heard of Rockefeller Center ever since I was a kid.... primarily through watching The Today Show. I didn't give it much thought- just how I don't give much thought to many things around me. I knew that there was something called The Rainbow Room there that I'd seen it in countless movies-not to mention Sleepless in Seattle which I absolutely love-and that it was generally something big in NYC.

And then when we were in NYC this April, a lot of my friends were talking about going to "the top of the rock". I thought it was a show of some kind- stand up comedy type. I had absolutely no idea it was an observation deck. But we went. And I was blown away. You know all those aerial shots of NYC in almost every movie out there? Yeah- it's that- and with a magnitude of a 100. I never get all nervous and excited about meeting celebrities (or reading about them for that matter) but I definitely do get all fangirly about seeing places that have featured in countless films. And so, standing at the Top of the Rock at 10.30PM in 10 degrees Celsius with a hundred people was amazing. Beyond anything I would've expected. The lights and the cars and the energy are multiplied when you're looking at it from the 69th (?) floor. But more than just the view- is the rest of Rockefeller Center. Or Rockefeller Plaza. Whatever floats your boat. 

Nestled between the shoppers' paradise that is Fifth Avenue and the hype and bright lights of Times Square and Broadway lies a wonderful somewhat pedestrianized plaza surrounded by towering skyscrapers and flanked by buildings on all sides. It's surreal. Right in the middle is an ice rink which I'm told is not an ice rink in summer. Around the ice rink are flags of almost every country in the world. And to the north, south, east, and west of the plaza lie cafes, bistros, and shops- not to mention lovely fountains and gorgeous flowers. When I was there in April, I went to Rockefeller Plaza on a Tuesday and the fountains were surrounded by blood red tulips. When I visited on Wednesday morning, glorious pink hydrangeas had taken their place in full bloom in preparation for Easter. 

You might not even realize it's there- I certainly didn't. But it is there. (Can you tell I'm struggling to write?)

There's a wonderful chocolate shop called Teuscher Chocolates which had a gorgeous display at the time. 

There's also a LEGO store (yes) and an Anthropologie.. not to mention countless other stores. There's also the famous Radio City right before it and if you exit Rockefeller Center onto 5th Avenue you're right in front of Saks. Saks Fifth Avenue..... (Did you know that I actually had to look up where Saks FIFTH AVENUE was located? Sometimes I cannot take a hint). 

But the nicest thing to do is to just watch the ice rink and all the flags and buildings around it. So relaxing. 

One thing you should not miss out on doing is eating the whoopie pie on the dessert menu at the Rock Center Cafe. The cafe has wonderful views of the ice rink and is perfect for eating right before you go up to the Top of the Rock. I think the picture says it all. 

If you happen to around in the morning- REALLY early in the morning (7AM), try checking out the Today Show's fan area.. you might get on TV. 

For more info on Top of the Rock check out their website http://www.topoftherocknyc.com/. There's an interesting pass called the Sunrise/Sunset one which lets you go twice- that's a good option to get but otherwise stick to visiting at night time. Breathtaking. 

There is no "best way" to travel.

The eternal question: guidebooks or simply wandering? I seem to hear people discussing this phenomenon absolutely everywhere I go. I, personally, like a balance. And at the end of the day, it's all about what suits you and what kind of person you are. There are those whose idea of a vacation is spending a few days in a bustling city and there are those who think a vacation means islands and beaches. And then there are obviously those who want to see just about everything in this world- be it volcano, river, ice-cream parlor, or the local baker's house. I fit into the last type. I love spontaneity and strolls. And all the discoveries that come along with it.

But I do read guidebooks. I read them because they always have valuable insights into the place I'm visiting and because they often tell you things you almost definitely did not know before that. In my approach of balance between wandering and guidebooks, I read the guidebooks to get an idea of what to see there, what the major areas are, and I study the map so quite often I know which street comes after what even when it's my first time visiting a place! Once I know what to see, I visit those and spend the rest of my time wandering about the place, discovering one thing after the next. In another aspect of this balance, sometimes I visit places with absolutely no knowledge whatsoever on what I'm going to find there. It is one of the most refreshing experiences you can ever have.

Many have their "well-established rules" to follow when traveling but I think there should be absolutely none- well none short of breaking the law in the other country- you don't want to do that! Some people only want to fly business class and make sure that that happens. Others believe in sticking to hotel chains- so there's some level of comfort and guarantee you're going to get what you expect. Neither of that is wrong or right. It's just up to you and what you want to see. If you're more comfortable traveling in an over-prepared manner then that's for you. If you want to hop on a plane and not even have an arrangement made for accommodation then that's great! At the end of the day, you will be experiencing something different- regardless of what it is. And that is what travel is about. Exploring, learning, broadening your mind. And more than anything, it's about experiencing and living.

I love wandering about a city's streets because it is then that I most often than not come across the quirky, eccentric, or just down right beautiful.

Below you can find pictures of some of my "discoveries" while roaming the streets of various places.You'll see quite a lot from 2009 because that was the year that I truly indulged in roaming around streets and wandering aimlessly.

Gypsy baby in Istabul

 This little angel is being held by her elder brother who was extremely excited about getting their pictures taken.

Old man outside Book Market in Istanbul 

 Right after I took this picture, he started yelling at me that he'd get me arrested.

Kittens

 These kittens were there every day with their mother, they used to live in a tiny box beside a pharmacy and this pot was their playground. The pharmacy staff would feed them and play with them. One day, none of them were there. It's said that cat mothers like to move their children around seven times- maybe this was one of them.

 At the animal market near Eminönü in Istanbul- it's extremely cramped and hot and sadly the animals aren't in extremely wonderful conditions. But these parrots were friendly.

I don't know if people are capable of eating that.  Istanbul, 2009.

Puppy inside a cinema house in Istiklal near midnight. I don't know if it was a stray, but the fact that it was adorable attracted a large crowd. Istanbul, 2009.

Attitude. Mommy kitty on a vendor's stand in the Book Bazaar in Istanbul.

This is the breathtaking view that I came across after wandering through the steepy hills of Anacapri in 2006. I followed a bunch of people who seemed like they were heading somewhere- it definitely paid off. 

 The path leading up to the previous view.

  Paris, 2008. I've always loved this.